Photo Credit: Bobby Bonsey Photography

Summer Means Dance Camps
I’ve just returned from an inspiring week at Beantown and will end the summer at Swing Out New Hampshire (where the photo above was taken a few years ago). These are both camps for grown-ups who love to dance. Specifically, Lindy Hop and Swing. Love them!

You Think, So You Can Dance? Science Is On It
And what should appear in the New York Times this week, but this fascinating article on the emerging field of dance neuroscience and the brain/body connection. “…Dancing together can help us relate to each other…And now, we see evidence of this on a functional magnetic resonance imaging scan.” Yikes! Are we on to something here?

The Lead/Follow Connection
can be dynamic and fluid, transcending ages, races, genders and any other markers you can think of. You might decide with your partner at the beginning of a dance, who’s doing what. Or you might move in and out of the roles and patterns as you’re dancing. All of this communication is typically through touch; words unnecessary.

And Now, A Backstory
When I was hired as a communications consultant by a national retailer, I found myself working alongside experienced teams from McKinsey and PwC. Was I intimidated? Yup, I surely was.

The client was rolling out a new Customer Experience initiative across 14,000 employees in some 1,100 stores. All of which required a LOT of communications (video, newsletters, training, coaching, etc.) to be planned, created and executed from headquarters. That’s where l came in.

At one point, I was writing a major speech for the Senior VP in charge, and the other consultants were creating the slides and providing input. The VP emailed me, “Are you taking the lead?” I honestly did not understand the question. So I emailed back, admitted my confusion, and then listed all the aspects of his speech that I WAS taking responsibility for. As I looked at that list, I had a sudden realization and I wrote at the end of my email, “Based on this, the answer is Yes. I am taking The Lead.”

It didn’t mean I actually did anything differently. It meant I owned it differently. And that made all the difference in how I perceived myself, and was perceived by others.

Owning The Lead
Communications is a Dance, dear Readers! It’s never just about you. It’s about you and your audience; your listeners. I often remind clients: It’s not what we say; it’s what they get. Here are some ideas to get you into your best flow.

Take A Beat To Feel The Beat
Don’t just jump right into your words. Take a beat is a theater term which means take a breath, get settled, collect your thoughts, feel out the room…all in the time of a heartbeat. The room itself has a dynamic. Can you feel it? What’s going on? Whose energy is taking up the most space? Is there an elephant in the room? Is there a non-articulated sub-current?

In The Lead Role
Can you hold back and ask a clarifying question? Can you reframe your comments to help others better understand or respond? If you’re addressing issues that have arisen, can you give people a chance to say more?

  • “Before I begin, let me ask if you could clarify how…”
  • “I‘m happy to share my perspective, and I’m also wondering what would be most helpful…”
  • “Can you tell me your concerns?” (Even if you think you know them!)

In The Follow Role
Can you use a soft opening to gauge the response? Can you build on commonality? Can you invite in other perspectives?

  • “Let me provide some background to put this in context…”
  • “Based on the brief we were all given, I have three ideas to share with you…”
  • “I understand this report may not meet everyone’s needs and expectations…”

Give, Take, Share
Sometimes you need to take The Lead, for everyone’s sake. Sometimes you need to share it. Sometimes you need to let someone else have it. And sometimes you need to give it away. You lead; I follow. I lead; you follow. And we keep moving, together.

The goal is for everyone to appreciate their own individual contribution to the greater whole. And when it’s working, and we’re in sync, I have to say it feels absolutely fabulous!

Dance on, my friends.

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